I, more often than not, vacillate between the two.
My husband, on the other hand, has found a way to live acutely aware of the raw and often, painful, realities of life whilst facing it with a genuine and tender approach wrapped in gratitude. He tells me the secret and transformational magic is actually a quite simple and rather mundane task. Each day he lists one thing he is grateful for and thanks God for it throughout the day. By the end of the week he has seven things he meditates gratitude on.
The "magical transformation" didn't happen overnight. It took weeks and months of faithfully keeping this daily gratitude list before we both noticed that he was much less negatively critical and much more open and gracious. This secret task, was no secret either. It was a suggestion given to him by our pastor back in Portland, OR, who was then, my husband's mentor.
They are there, those things. Waiting to be noticed. What is one thing you are grateful for today?