Pride comes in many forms. Ego likes to wear many masks. The root of my anxiety with public speaking and being in front of a crowd is nothing but pride. Typically I instinctively dodge any opportunity where I might find myself in this discomfiting circumstance. But often, saying 'Yes,' to my Maker means I better get used to being outside of my comfort zone.
The first session of the study was yesterday and the night before, anxiety kept me up like a little mosquito buzzing in my ear. I spent most of the day reminding myself that it wasn't all about me. That I wouldn't mess anything up if I just redirect my focus. In the words of Beth Moore, "[I'm] not good enough to mess God up."
The point of taking on the role of facilitator for the study was not so I could look or sound good in front of others. The point wasn't so that I could be admired, respected, or praised. The point was to be a willing pilgrim ready to serve in any way, for the purpose of seeking mutual spiritual growth together.